If you're reading this forum, Jeff, we want you to get fired up and kick the dog**** out of this. Find strength where you must. We are behind you!

Jeff, we don't know each other and our situations are not remotely similar -- but if you will allow me, I'd like to give you some words.

Before doing so, I'll try and gain a little credibility in the conversation.

In Jan/Feb of '04traveled to the funeral of my best friend from the Corps, he died of pancreatic cancer. The Marines took care of him the best they could, but the man I knew as a solid rock succumbed to the disease and died looking like nothing but a shell of what I knew him as.

In Feb of '04 I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. My oncologist was straight forward and said I had 3 months to live. No possibilities of any other option. But he did say that if there was a miracle to be found, it would be at MD Anderson. So pressured by my wife (I basically accepted the diagnosis and wanted to go to Disney World -- she was a PITA and demanded I go to Houston). Long story short, my oncologist was wrong, I lived (live), and things worked out. Oh, and while in treatment I found I could eat as many jelly donuts as I wanted, since I would puke everything up anyway. Yippee.

While undergoing this whole thing, I initially had a moment of self-pity and resignation. But that was idiocy and I moved on beyond that. My first time driving into MD Anderson I thought that if cancer had eyes, it surely would be scared sxxtless by the simple view of all that this medical center was -- the enormity of what the doctors had access to for killing it. I also found that as scared as I was, there were those who were frightened more -- I specifically remember a teenage girl with her mom. A beautiful girl just beginning the torture that her docs were about to do to her. I never knew her outcome but I figured if she could face this as a child, then my wussaxx could stop whining and give it a go as well.

Fast forward almost a decade. I'm here. The cancer is probably too -- hiding somewhere in me, mutating and strategizing about its next attack. But so what -- I got to see my daughter recently go on her first date and she is almost finished with HS. I had the opportunity to realize just how much I'm in love with my wife -- and try to make amends for the previous decade of being so ignorant about what she means to me. And I'm almost 50 -- in another couple of months I will reach an age the doc told me was impossible. And I'm healthy. Granted, just walking into MD Anderson immediately makes me want to retch -- and I know it is psychological, but it does a good job of appearing physical as well. But its just a mindfxxk -- I'm fine. And I'm here, and every day is a chance to let my family and friends know how much I appreciate them.

My point to all of this silly rambling is that you are in the BEST hands that there are. But they can't do their best if you aren't there in mind and spirit. And when you are down in the dumps, you are going to transmit that to those around you. IMO -- don't do that. Neither of those. Reach down and grab your sack and decide that even if you are going to check out -- that you'll do so with your head held high. So you're sick, so what? Lots of people die in an instant due to a car crash. They don't get a chance to fight. So ruck up, and drive on. And in doing so -- without faking it -- let your family see that you are good with yourself and not whining. Whatever direction it goes -- realize that you have literally a million more times the chance to enjoy life than those in that car accident. Yeah, it hurts -- but move past that.

You know, chances are that you'll pull through fine. Don't come through it all with the memories of feeling down in the dumps. And if you don't make it -- give your family and friends some great times to recall.

Ayway, I just wanted to let you know that at a minimum I get how you are feeling mentally at least. But you need to knock off the Krevorkian silliness and demo to the disease that you still have a pair.

The most sincere wishes of success to you and your doctors....

Jeff,

I'm praying for you and your family. I pray The Lord Jesus Christ heals you of this cancer! I pray you have a quick recovery and your back on the range shooting with Chad in a very short time! I also pray that you know Jesus as your personal Savior and that you trust in Him for not only for your life here on earth but for your eternal life.

May He bless you immeasurably!

In Jesus name,

Amen!

Get better soon,

Mel

First time for me to look into this section of forum
And I find this, really hits home just like others on here
My prayers are with you and your family

Small update


Clinical Trial at MD Anderson Houston failed. I'm in bad shape....lots of pain.

My belly is hurting so bad...

I'm on what is called ICE chemo.....acronyms


My diagnosis is bad ya'll. Having failed on hyper/cvad was not good.

This new chemo must shrink the tumor or else. That's it. I'm out of quarters. If it does.....and I am praying it does....


I have to have a bone marrow transplant immediately. I need a donor or I will die. It's a simple as that. To be tested is just a blood test.

If you are a match, technology is such now that It will not hurt to donate anymore. They don't harvest your bone marrow the old way. They give you a shot that will tell your bone marrow to produce stem cells and they harvest them with a machine that is a lot like a kidney dialysis machine. There is no pain involved at ALL.


Bad news is it takes three days. Other than that....


I'm back in Fort Worth at Harris Hospital, room 700.

I'm scared. I'm in pain, I'm worried about my family. I don't want to die yet...but it doesn't look very good for me at this point. This tumor came back with a vengeance and it's kicking my butt. It is growing so damn fast. I wished I knew what was feeding it. Maybe I should go to a 100% fruit and vegetable juicer diet.


I'm not giving up hope....because there is still a chance this "salvage" chemo is what they call it, will work. If it does I have a very small window to do the transplant. That means we have to find a donor soon. I mean very soon.


I've been in a bad way for a few weeks. I'm tired...worn out...scared. I don't know what to say but thank you to everybody here.


I wished I had better news.......

I'm really ready to try alternative things for sure. As I look back through this thread......lots of interesting things for sure.

I do read in here daily....I'd go insane if I didn't. It's hard to post and I miss my shooting life.

That's it for now.

Jeff, who wold a guy call to find out about being tested to be a donor?

How to register as a bone marrow donor

Registering to become a bone marrow donor is easy. Locate a donor center by visiting the National Marrow Donor Program's website or calling the organization's toll-free number at 800-MARROW2 (627-7692). If you are unable to find a donor center in your area, you can register online, and a tissue-typing kit with instructions on how to register as a donor will be mailed to you.



http://www.cancer.net/all-about-cancer/c...ing-bone-marrow

I do not look at this thread often...so i just saw this one.

Prayers for all.

To the top>>>>

Our thoughts and prayers are up to you and your family Jeff.

just now seeing this...my thoughts and prayers to you and your family, Jeff. May the Lord embrace each of you with His healing grace.

If you want to help me live, I need a bone marrow trasfer.


I beg everybody to please get tested. i have a small window to have the marrow transfusion. But I have to have a donor that matches.


Good news is it is now painless. The entire process is longer but there is no pain involved for the donor.


There are days lost but my life will be spared.



GO here to be tested

I think its just a cotton swab inside the mouth.

http://bethematch.org/Support-the-Cause/Donate-bone-marrow/

What blood type are you? Is that what matters for a bone marrow transfer?

You are a stong man - keep fighting - you and your family are in my prayers.

Remain tough

I'll do it if I'm a match. You at MD Anderson in Houston? It's probably quicker for me to go down there and get tested versus over the internet. I might already be in the system since I donated a couple years ago. If you want this, have your family contact me to see about having my records checked. More than likely I'll have to initiate the check since it's my personal info.

An unfortunate update. This is Fatalwishes' wife.

He is in hospice now. The son-of-a-bitch tumor won't respond to chemo. He's too sick and weak for chemo anyway. All that, and a donor was in the works. We were close to healing him.

Thank you all for supporting him and lending an ear. He is blessed to have so many friends.

Hate to hear that news, I only know Jeff through this site but through the conversations and banter I consider him a friend.

Prayers up for you, Jeff, family, friends and care givers.

Hate to hear this. Prayers have been sent.

I have said a prayer for Jeff daily and was wondering about him.
Our Prayers and Best Wishes for you, family, and Jeff. He is a great guy and wish the best for all.

At times like this I don't feel significant enough to offer words of my own, so I'll just say "ditto."

May God comfort you in these trying times. We are all thinking of you folks. Take Care!

Jeff, you and your's are in our prayers.

so sad, prayers sent.

Each of you are in our prayers

Cancer sucks.