3 weeks shy of 20 years here. (Dated 3 years so 23 total) 4 kids and a lifetime of plans down the road…until she told me a month ago she was “done”. No warning, no deep conversations, no desire for marriage counseling or reconciliation. Extremely busy lives, 2 careers, kids heavily involved in sports, church, theatre, etc…and we lost the ability to communicate deeply & effectively with our go, go, go life. Says I’m too hard on the kids, expectations are too high. I say all are fixable if you want it bad enough. Also know another couple, solid educators, heavy church goers, Sunday school teachers, elder in the church, fantastic kids, etc…going through major difficulties as well. Crazy times these days.

3 weeks shy of 20 years here. (Dated 3 years so 23 total) 4 kids and a lifetime of plans down the road…until she told me a month ago she was “done”. No warning, no deep conversations, no desire for marriage counseling or reconciliation. Extremely busy lives, 2 careers, kids heavily involved in sports, church, theatre, etc…and we lost the ability to communicate deeply & effectively with our go, go, go life. Says I’m too hard on the kids, expectations are too high. I say all are fixable if you want it bad enough. Also know another couple, solid educators, heavy church goers, Sunday school teachers, elder in the church, fantastic kids, etc…going through major difficulties as well. Crazy times these days.

The pandemic was hard on a lot of people and couples - generally, financially and mentally. It changed people. The ongoing inflation crisis and overall economic outlook hasn’t helped. Having six couples in your orbit all divorcing at the same time is odd, though.

I was seeing a lady Dr for a while. Go, go, go busy, busy, busy. She would text me 40-50 times a day but said she was too busy to talk on the phone. Ever. When I was still working, I remember being on the phone, getting shot at and calling the person back in about 20 minutes. Being too busy for someone else is a choice.

Honest question; with today's "modern" women, what is the incentive for men to get married? So their wives can take half when they leave?

Whatever a “modern” woman is today, is an evolution of women having to do for themselves what men failed to do.

Women are women; they still need love, support, and above all the need to feel safe. Men have done a great job of turning their wives into their mommies and that is not comforting for them.

Enough of that has taught women if they don’t feel safe, heard or understood they will bounce because they can feel the same way alone as together.

The instances quoted here I gathered they both spent more time and energy on their kids as they did each other and it’s not a shocker one day one couple tapped the bell.


I’m not saying bull headed, over bearing women do not exist, because they certainly do, but using an example what a modern women is and losing half ( which now more than every, a woman is earning a legitimate half vs. times in the past) as justification to sit in their parents basement, eat Doritos, play video games and whack his pud to the internets is not gonna bode well long term.

You missed my point. When cardi B and the kardashians are all the rage, virtuous women are hard to come by. Why buy the cow in other words….

I’m old enough and lucky enough to have found a good woman, but I don’t envy those trying to find one in these times.
I’m also under the belief that if the courts wouldn’t hand over the children to mothers so quickly after a divorce, many of these women wouldn’t be so quick to leave.
Back to my original point, without the right woman, it’s a lose lose for the father. They take his kids, half of whatever they have regardless of her financial input or not, then he pays child support and possibly alimony and gets to see his children 4 days a month.

I conducted a hostile takeover involving my income. She promptly said she wanted a divorce. That was my function in the marriage apparently. Just a revenue stream. In seven years I went from having no money to retired.

Up until I got divorced I was pretty judgmental about divorced people. They didn't go to Church, probably didn't pray together, probably they didn't have the right morals, probably had the wrong friends, probably worked too hard, probably their kids and kids sports life sucked up all their time, probably he forgot anniversaries, probably had a tv in the bedroom, probably didn't help each other with chores around the house, probably didn't have regular date nights, probably never said I love you, probably had a side piece at work, probably didn't make each other a priority, probably watched too much football, probably shopped too much, etc.

90% of the men I know who are divorced the wife initiated it because she wasn't happy. Pretty much all those men worked and did what they could to save their marriage.

The Monday after I got the talk I went and met with my pastor who knew us both well. He said "midlife crisis, I see it all the time. She isn't happy, can't figure out why she's not happy and so she's blaming you. "

I went from being the love of her life and the best Dad to our girls she could have ever asked for to having a tail and horns overnight.

In Texas when you're wife wants a divorce you're getting a divorce. Once they flip that divorce switch its like they are a kamikazee pilot and there is no turning back. I've dealt with emotional, spiritual and financial fallout daily for the last 5 years for me and my kids. No fault divorce is BS as people(women mostly) are financially and socially incentivized to go through with it.

We need to go back to at fault divorce. Yes, this strikes a nerve. As much as I try to put it aside and move on, which I do, I could still talk all day.

Keep the Lord at the center of your lives

This........America is becoming more Godless every day.

[quote=ntxtrapper]
From what I have seen they live it up for a short while then get married again pretty soon after

Whatever a “modern” woman is today, is an evolution of women having to do for themselves what men failed to do.

Women are women; they still need love, support, and above all the need to feel safe. Men have done a great job of turning their wives into their mommies and that is not comforting for them.

Enough of that has taught women if they don’t feel safe, heard or understood they will bounce because they can feel the same way alone as together.

The instances quoted here I gathered they both spent more time and energy on their kids as they did each other and it’s not a shocker one day one couple tapped the bell.


I’m not saying bull headed, over bearing women do not exist, because they certainly do, but using an example what a modern women is and losing half ( which now more than every, a woman is earning a legitimate half vs. times in the past) as justification to sit in their parents basement, eat Doritos, play video games and whack his pud to the internets is not gonna bode well long term.

I think this is spot on. And Kudos to your pastor for calling it like it is.

And yes, most of the divorces I’ve seen lately have been initiated by women.

I’m at the gym now and across the street is a bar. One of the aforementioned women is on the patio is outside living it up.

Women are not washed up old bags at 45 and 50 anymore. I don’t know if they are having a midlife crisis or what but it seems the women recover from it faster on average than the men do. From what I have seen they live it up for a short while then get married again pretty soon after