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Grandpa
#8776557
01/09/23 12:02 AM
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 18,776
HuntingTexas
OP
THF Celebrity
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OP
THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 18,776 |
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.” “I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Grandpa. “How about a demonstration?”
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, “Okay. Go ahead.”
Grandpa says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”
The auditor thinks a moment and says, “It’s a bet.”
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.
Grandpa says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. “Want to go double or nothing?” Grandpa asks. “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he ends up urinating all over the auditor’s desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa’s own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
“Are you okay?” the auditor asks.
“Not really,” says the attorney. “This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it!”
" In God We Trust "
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Re: Grandpa
[Re: HuntingTexas]
#8776658
01/09/23 02:01 AM
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 19,262
TEXASLEFTY
THF Whiskey Sommelier
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THF Whiskey Sommelier
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 19,262 |
Never been to a camping world. I prefer Dick's to be honest.
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Re: Grandpa
[Re: HuntingTexas]
#8776716
01/09/23 03:57 AM
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Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 19,167
TCM3
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 19,167 |
Do not forget to entertain strangers, For by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels Hebrews 13:2 (R-TX)
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Re: Grandpa
[Re: HuntingTexas]
#8777883
01/10/23 05:23 PM
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 199
Heavy T
Woodsman
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Woodsman
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 199 |
Old as the hills on grandmas chest
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Re: Grandpa
[Re: HuntingTexas]
#8779196
01/12/23 02:53 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 44,033
Stub
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 44,033 |
Yep an oldy but a damn goodun
“I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.” —Groucho Marx
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