Earlier this morning:

Me - Hey sweetheart, have the dogs been fed?

Wife - Well I was getting ready for work and then realized I actually have a video call this morning so I went ahead and jumped in the shower so I could be fresh to do my makeup because our VP will be on the call then I remembered I have to take the tape off my laptop camera and then realized oh [censored] I left the straightener on so I had to run back in the bathroom but I hadn't blow dried my hair yet so I blow dried but then the straightener turned off so I didn't have to rush in there anyway cuz it'll turn itself off, and did you hear what Jen's aunt is doing? She's such a bitch. Mel invited us to music bingo tonight but I know we'll be at the lease but I want to go but I know I can't and I feel bad cuz I want to go, also has the car payment been made? When are you gonna go to the dentist? My moms car needs an oil change and oh my god we're almost out of honey, can you water my plants for me?

"Me - ...so have the dogs eaten or not...?

Wife - Well I was getting to that but OH MY GOD Dan is traveling all the time now and he was out of town last night because he travels you know so then centerpoint was at Mel's house at 10 friggin PM last night!! Can you believe that!! What would they want at 10PM!?!? I think it was a setup. If you're out of town and a group of guys knocks on the door, I absolutely am not answering it, you never know what those guys want, that’s just weird

Me - ...so have the…

Wife - Will you please feed the dogs for me?

Me - ...yes...


I have a feeling we’re not leaving at 11A to head to the lease as planned. I wanted to leave by noon, so I told her 10:30-11, but some of these women will be late to their own funerals

Im sorry. I evidently need to count my blessings.

I tell my wife dinner reservations are at 1.5 hours before they actually are. Most times we barely make it on time

It’s rare with her, she’s a great catch, but dammit if women can’t just answer a question 😂

We have to do that with the mother in law only we have to tell her 2-3 hours early. One time she actually was ready “on time” and we got busted 😂

Man, yes or no is such bad concept for some people. My wife is bad but I have a friend that’s so bad I played a game with him one time. He never caught in and he never said yes or no. It was

That’s like my MIL and her brother. He was coming down to stay with us from Illinois earlier in the year. I told the MIL to call her brother and see if he wanted to do a fishing trip on the Sunday he was down

4 hours. They were on the phone for 4 hours

0 decisions got made

2 retired folks trying to make a decision as to whether or not he wanted to go fishing

Usually with her, and I absolutely adore my MIL, I just tell her and her brother when he’s down for an annual family trip - “hey on ___ day I’m going to go do _____ at ____ time. Truck leaves at ____ time. Get in or not, I’m goin. You’re welcome to join, but I’m goin”

It is not in their DNA. I can start off a question with "Hun I have a simple question that requires either a Yes or No answer only please!
20 minutes later my ears look like Cauliflower

I hear you pard, just answer the question please. It's not just women though, I have a BIL like that and whatever you do don't ask him more than one question at a time or you'll get no answer at all. I will ask one or two questions and he will respond with a question. Drives me nuts. Please just answer the freakin' question, and then proceed with whatever else you need to say lol.

The multi question ordeal happens in my life a lot with the folks I work with. Mostly my manufacturers but a lot of customers. I’ll send an email with 3-4 questions bullet pointed. Simple things like, do you have an updated price sheet? Is there an available updated interchange? What day next week is a good time to meet? And they’ll respond with “yea that’s fine”

🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️

lol this is funny!!!!!!!

DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT leave without her. I have done this on an occasion or two and never ends well for me. She gets sneaky now and just leaves without me sometimes to go do fun things, I ask why I wasnt invited and always get hit with the "well I told you 2 days ago about it." just to stick the knife in deeper. I have learned to patiently wait for my lovely woman.

Personally, I think it’s a gender thing. My wife is just as bad when it comes to answering questions.

Me- while on the interstate - there’s an exit coming up in about a mile. Are you hungry, and what sounds good?

Her - well, we ate an early breakfast.

Me - sooooooo what’s the answer?

Her - I hate it when you pressure me like this.

Me - we just passed the exit

Her - I thought we were gonna stop.

Me - there’s another exit in about 10 miles, so think about it.

Her - ya know, you can really be a jerk sometimes

And on and on it goes….

Oh man, they must be wired all the same!!!! Definitely have had this same exact conversation. I bet if we kept digging into these "conversations" from our wives, we could make a book that 90% of married men could relate too.

it's men too.

I've got a buddy, if you ask him what time it is, he tells you how to build a clock.

When my wife starts a conversation with "I have a friend"...I settle in for a long listen.

Ahahahaha. As much as we’re on the road, I feel this one

Or she’ll have a convo in her head (magically, since normally she verbalizes everything), radio will be on, will have not heard a word from her in half an hour, then all of a sudden, “why didn’t you exit? I told you I had to pee”

That is one of my pet peeves. I ask questions with one word answers for a reason. I don't care for a back story. If I need a back story for context, I will ask for it.

Dining out. Wife's idea.

Husband: Where would you like to go?

Wife: Oh I don't know just pick something.

Husband: OK how about ABC restaurant?

Wife: That's fine

While driving to the restaurant, Husband senses an elevated pissed off meter reading

Husband: What's up? What's wrong?

Wife: It's always what you want

That sounds like a very, very familiar conversation

Cheer up! It gets a lot worse.

We're in our 60s. Our "chats" about the difference between wifi, cell signal, and Bluetooth are epic (and ongoing). Her new hearing aids with Bluetooth have added a whole new level of fun.

Note to self: Stop muttering under your breath.

Mine:

Wife: I don't feel like cooking, lets go out or pick something up.

Me: Sounds good what do you want?

Wife: I don't know what sounds good to you?

Me: I am not the picky one and will eat anything and everything..

Wife: Your no help!

Me: Okay Chinese food.

Wife: I am not in the mood for Chinese.

Me: How about Mexican or Big Shucks?

Wife: Nothing really sounds good so far

Me: I am done, pick something or I am opening a can of beans, wife hates beans

And it gets even better after menopause. Ask me how I know!

Have you gone through menopause, Jimbo!?! 🤣

Sensitive subject...now I want to cry!

Well