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Thoughts
#7634031
10/16/19 02:46 PM
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416
bill oxner
OP
THF Celebrity
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OP
THF Celebrity
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416 |
.When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
.To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
.When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time
between yesterday and 15 years ago.
.Interviewer: "So, tell me about yourself."
Me: "I'd rather not. I kinda want this job."
Cop: "Please step out of the car."
Me: "I'm too drunk. You get in."
.I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
.I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
.Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as
a Tupperware lid the doesn't fit any of your containers.
.If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to
you, just stare straight ahead and say "Did you bring the money?"
.When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing,"
it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
.Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 is new midnight.
.I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days,
but whatever.
.I run like the winded.
.I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the
beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
.When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint
and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
.I don't remember much from last night, but the fact that
I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells
me it was awesome.
.When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like
a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
.I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember
things and get really excited.
.When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
.It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
.Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring.
Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
.That moment when you walk into a spider web suddenly turns
you into a karate master.
.Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life outta
nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever.
We call those people cops.
.The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
.My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill
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Re: Thoughts
[Re: bill oxner]
#7634165
10/16/19 04:30 PM
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Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 1,542
fishdfly
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 1,542 |
Some of these come close to home.
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Re: Thoughts
[Re: bill oxner]
#7634178
10/16/19 04:40 PM
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Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 19,168
TCM3
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 19,168 |
Are these excerpts from your auto -biography
Do not forget to entertain strangers, For by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels Hebrews 13:2 (R-TX)
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Re: Thoughts
[Re: bill oxner]
#7636464
10/19/19 05:32 AM
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,831
RedHoss
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,831 |
Hey! Why is he spreading gossip about me like that? LOL
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Re: Thoughts
[Re: bill oxner]
#7636471
10/19/19 06:45 AM
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Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 309
oldrancher
Bird Dog
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Bird Dog
Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 309 |
I resemble all of those observations.
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Re: Thoughts
[Re: bill oxner]
#7638830
10/22/19 12:45 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 44,049
Stub
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 44,049 |
A bunch of good ones that are so true
“I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.” —Groucho Marx
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Re: Thoughts
[Re: bill oxner]
#7638903
10/22/19 02:18 PM
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,089
jakebunch
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,089 |
Hit uncomfortably close to home!!
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