A big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him, and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel. And if he could locate the bullet hole. he would even tell them what caliber rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other customers, and soon a heated argument was going on. Then the hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and the bet was on.

They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced, "Spring Buck." Then he felt for the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .22 rifle." The others could not believe it. He was right, and the argument was even hotter than before. When some started to suggest that he must have peeked, he said that he was prepared to do it again. He would put up all the drinks they had bought before against them buying another round for him.

So they blindfolded him again, very thoroughly this time, and they brought a skin that someone happened to have in their car. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Kalahari Lion" and fingering the bullet hole said, "and the rifle was a .308," which of course was right. This, of course, was like throwing fat on the fire, and he had to prove is skills over and over again, every time against a round of drinks.

Finally he staggered home, stoned out of his mind, and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one heck of a shiner. So he said to his wife, "Listen, I know I was drunk last night, but not too drunk to know that I did not fight anyone in that bar. So where did I get this black eye?" His wife replied angrily, "From me, of course."

"But what did I do?" he asked. She replied, "You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and announced in a triumphant tone: 'Skunk, killed with an axe'."

Thats dirty . . . . . but really funny!

BEST JOKE OF THE DAY. TTT

My wife did't think It was that funny

♠


Not brave enough to tell my wife that one.

Good, Would never tell a woman that one.

LMAO skipped the women on that email lol

lol

That brings to mind a similar story I heard some years back.

A guy walked into a back woods pub in an area where woodcutting was the primary industry.

Now this guy was a bit of a smart a$$ and said that he could identify the type of wood and where it came from just from its smell...without touching it and even blindfolded.

Well, the guys all looked at one another and said "Prove it". Rounds of drinks on each attempt.

OK he said...was blindfolded and the first piece of timber placed in from of him. He sniffed up and down it, stepped back and said...that is a piece of Oak from the backwoods 10 mile to the West of here.

The guys couldn't believe it...he was correct.

OK...another piece of timber was placed in front of him. He sniffed along the length of it, sniffed back up along it and said..."Ah...a nice piece of Radiata Pine from the bad paddock of Willy Jones pine plantation.

Again, the guys couldn't believe it, they thought they had him on that one...oh well, they put up the drinks again and blindfolded him.

When he was blindfolded, one of the guys, with his finger across his lips ran over and grabbed the old barfly from the end of the bar. He shushed her up, stripped her naked and laid her on her back on the table.

The smart a$$ started sniffed down along the length of the old barfly and on reaching her crotch went "whew" then kept sniffing. He asked for the "piece" to be turned over. He started sniffing down again...reached her butt and again went "WHEW" but then began to smile.

You had me there for a minute...but I've got it worked out now. This piece of timber is in fact from the toilet door off a prawn (shrimp) trawler.

The guys all started whooping and laughing as the guy whipped the blindfold off . He also joined in with a chuckle and happily paid for the drinks.

The old barfly got her bottle of Jim Beam and the guys drank for nothing for the next hour.

Cheers, Vince