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Feb 12th, 2024
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 The Hitman
#516175
12/17/08 06:08 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,039
Tx_Phantom
OP
Extreme Tracker
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OP
Extreme Tracker
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,039 |
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't show up."
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."
Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man," was the reply.
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow,I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her... he's naked as well! The
b!tch!"
He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I do a flat rate - for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his tallywhacker off to teach him a lesson."
The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perectly still for a few minutes. "Are you going to do it or not?" said the man impatiently.
"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here..."
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 Re: The Hitman
[Re: Tx_Phantom]
#516176
12/17/08 11:31 PM
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 8,572
Tres
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 8,572 |
![[Linked Image]](https://photos.smugmug.com/Alaska/i-WSddPKG/0/c077d64b/Th/IMG_2809-Th.jpg) "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."
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Re: The Hitman
[Re: Tres]
#516177
12/18/08 02:09 AM
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 144
gonebirdy
Woodsman
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Woodsman
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 144 |
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Re: The Hitman
[Re: gonebirdy]
#516178
12/18/08 03:52 AM
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 105
GooseB4
Woodsman
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Woodsman
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 105 |
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Re: The Hitman
[Re: DEERSTRANGLER]
#516180
12/18/08 05:19 AM
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,612
bull frog
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,612 |
what his phone number lol
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Re: The Hitman
[Re: bull frog]
#516181
12/18/08 10:09 PM
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,341
Rwuensch
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,341 |
We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "smart"?
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Re: The Hitman
[Re: Rwuensch]
#516182
12/19/08 02:19 AM
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 60
(felix rufus)
Outdoorsman
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Outdoorsman
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 60 |
(Resize your Sig Pic to no more than 250 pixels Wide x 100 pixels Tall)
Speed cost money....How fast do you want to go?
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Re: The Hitman
[Re: (felix rufus)]
#516183
12/20/08 12:28 AM
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 259
CRF4JEFF
Bird Dog
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Bird Dog
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 259 |
Members of Congress should be compelled to wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we could identify their corporate sponsors.
My 12 steps are from my workbench to the garage fridge.
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Re: The Hitman
[Re: CRF4JEFF]
#516184
12/20/08 01:20 AM
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,453
ChickenWilly
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,453 |
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Re: The Hitman
[Re: ChrisHen]
#516186
12/22/08 04:23 AM
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 18,821
HuntingTexas
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 18,821 |
" In God We Trust "
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Re: The Hitman
[Re: mrbigtexan]
#516188
12/31/08 10:01 PM
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,988
Frisbie
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,988 |
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Re: The Hitman
[Re: Frisbie]
#516189
01/01/09 03:02 PM
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,842
WTGuide
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,842 |
Sorry....I didn't know you were playing at the local golf course.
Think you can/Think you can't/Either way you're right 
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Re: The Hitman
[Re: WTGuide]
#516190
01/02/09 06:35 AM
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,178
10pointers
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,178 |
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Re: The Hitman
[Re: 10pointers]
#516191
01/05/09 07:58 PM
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 11,669
cody
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 11,669 |
Wait...I don't ge...  Oh my 
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Re: The Hitman
[Re: cody]
#516192
01/09/09 03:49 AM
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 7
ILoveLamp
Green Horn
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Green Horn
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 7 |
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Re: The Hitman
[Re: ILoveLamp]
#516193
01/09/09 08:20 PM
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,868
krs_2007
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,868 |
I love it. He is waiting for her to ..... Whoops, cant say that here.
"Hard work is the price we must pay for success, I think you can accomplish anything if your willing to pay the price." ~ Vince Lombardi
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