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Government stimulus
#5032571
03/21/14 08:33 PM
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 166
magnolia_beach
OP
Woodsman
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OP
Woodsman
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 166 |
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:
Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q.Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a; high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China? A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will ;go to China or Sri Lanka.
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or; China ...
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala ... * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea. * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan. * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go ;to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore. Instead, keep the money in America by: 1) Spending it at yard sales, or 2) Going to ball games, or 3) Spending it on prostitutes, or 4) Beer or 5) Tattoos. (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.) Conclusion: Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard; sale and drink beer all day!
No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
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Re: Government stimulus
[Re: magnolia_beach]
#5032581
03/21/14 08:38 PM
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,057
Kenneth1977
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,057 |
Those two words should never be used together because the gov does not stimulate a dang thing!
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Re: Government stimulus
[Re: magnolia_beach]
#5033221
03/22/14 12:33 PM
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 13,416
jdk1985
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 13,416 |
Ethical use of finances at its finest
Instagram @justinkingwoodworking
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Re: Government stimulus
[Re: magnolia_beach]
#5033237
03/22/14 01:02 PM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 11,939
Simple Searcher
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 11,939 |
The beer and prostitute stimulus, got it!
"Man is still a hunter, still a simple searcher after meat..." Robert C. Ruark
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Re: Government stimulus
[Re: magnolia_beach]
#5069866
04/14/14 06:22 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 11,740
passthru
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 11,740 |
I guess I missed the punch line.
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