Names have been removed to protect the stupid!
Actual Letter from [someone] who farms in Kansas.........
I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes
come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up - 3 of them.

I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received
an education.

The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling
it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined.

The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.

At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand. Kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my rope
back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have
thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised when I
reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head - almost like a pit bull.

They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up
with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will
strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that when an animal like a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you
can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond I devised a different strategy. I screamed like woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse
that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the
back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all,
besides being twice as strong and three times as evil, because the second I
turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not immediately
leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good and felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back was bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket had protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to the nearest place, which was the co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood and dust and looking like hell. The guy who
ran the place saw me through the window and came running out yelling "what happened?"

I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that they have overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned that they may find a way to twist the existing laws to paint my actions as criminal. I swear...not wanting to admit that I had done something monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I told him "I was attacked by a deer". I did
not mention that at the time I had a rope on it.

The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my face where it had struck me there. I asked him to call somebody to come get me. I didn't think I could make it home on my own. He did. Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare thing and wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to describe the attack as completely and
accurately as I could. I was filling the grain hopper and this deer came
out of nowhere and just started kicking the hell out of me and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or something.

EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at the
co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their kids in the
house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles when they filled their feeders. I have told several people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I have to see these people every day and as an outsider - a "city folk". I have enough trouble fitting in
without them snickering behind my back and whispering "there is the dumba$$
that tried to rope the deer."

I have not laughed this hard in years!

This was on here a while back, still funny though.

OMG ROTFLMAO That is the funniest thing I have ever heard!!
I had to clean the beer off of my computer screen. D@mn near choked to death, and about pissed myself. My wife left her soap opera that she had recorded earlier to come check on me. Thanks for posting.

~~D

That was hilarious!!! Thanks for sharing!!!

I'm not totally sure of the authenticity of this story but it's a good one! Basically the same thing happened on my lease a few years ago but it involved an Emu that someone had dumped out. A couple of our guys decided to rope it and take it to town so somebody could do something with it. They got a rope around it's neck and as with your story, that's when the trouble started. One of the guys was 75 years old so he wasn't much help.The other guy was much younger (late 50s) but only weighs about 130 pounds. After quite a fight, the Emu got away from them and ran away into the brush with the rope around it's neck. The next day, they found it standing in place with the rope tangled in some brush. Thinking they had the edge this time, the 130 pound guy actually jumped on the Emu's back to wrestle him to the ground. At this point, all they wanted to do was get the rope off. They had given up on capturing it. I'd give anything to see the action video of this but finally, the rope started choking the Emu and he went down. They got the rope off his neck and wished him well. We never saw him again so I suspect that the Coyotes and/or hogs got him.

Very funny but very true. Heres a pic of me(cutting the antlers off a very large buck). Even in a squeeze/drop shoot, it takes 3-4 people to keep the deer still. By the way, they also make a growling/bauling sound.

Maybe it is just me, but why are you cutting the antlers off that buck?

That is a breeder buck and they cut the antlers off so the bucks don't fight between the fences in the breeding pens. It is amazing how strong deer are.

Thank you. I figured it was something like that!!!

That reminds of when I was about 9 or 10 years old, my father used to take me and my brother up to Tabor to go fishing/hunting and we used to stop just outside of Hempstead to see some deer a man was raising there. One night someone had actually killed his biggest buck and taken the head and cape and left the carcass to rot. That was in the late 60's when this happened.

That is truly funny!!! Lesson learned, the hard way. I have a story, when I have time, I will post it. Happened long ago to a friend of my dad.

Thats to funny,thanks for starting my day off with the best laugh all week lmao!

very funny, long but funny

Outstanding, and a well written story. It's already headed out in a mass emailing...hahaha

Funny, I have actually seen someone successfully rope a deer. It was a Mexican driver working on a crusher. The crusher had broken down that day and we went to sonora for diesel. On the way to town we noticed a young buck on the side of the road with his front leg dangling where he had been hit. So we stop at the hardware store and this dude buys about 20 ft of rope. He ties a quick lariat and we return to where the deer was. This guy ropes this deer and then ties off the loose end of the rope to a fence post. The deer starts doing its "fish on" imitation. This does not phase the dude he just walks the rope slowly and as he gets closer to the deer it has less room to buck, untill he pinns its head to the ground. He then pulls out his trusty pocket knife and dispatches the deer with one skillfull slice. WE ate the heart liver and kidneys for lunch that day, the next week had fresh jerky.
I know it was unethical and illegal, but who am I to mess with a Mexican with a razor sharp knife. Besides I was hungry.

Click here to see hunter get )*&&^% kicked by deer.

FUNNY STUFF

Funny. What is it the Anti's say about killing defenseless creatures?

ROTFLMAO

I nneded that this morning. Thanks for the laugh!

Heck I am still laughing. I lost it at "Did you know that deer bite? They do". That has to be the funniest thing that I have ever read on this site.