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Blondes Are The Best!!!
#2130668
02/20/11 09:26 AM
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 13,451
Seadog
OP
THF Celebrity
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OP
THF Celebrity
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 13,451 |
Blondes Are The Best!!!
A blonde & her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this." She goes downstairs.
The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"
The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Two Blondes With Hammers...
Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity House. Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail, pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, ' Why are you throwing those nails away?' Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.' Judy got completely upset & yelled, 'You moron! those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!'
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Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
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You might have to think twice about this one.
A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the Emergency Room doctor asked her.
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.
'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?'
'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, & then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants...
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'
'So then?' asked the doctor.
'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'
'So then?'
'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little harder, & still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ These are just too cute not to pass on!!!! A blonde was shopping at Target & came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took it to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.'
'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!' So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked?
'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot & cold things cold,' she replied..
Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'
The blond replied...... 'two popsicles & some coffee.'
+++++++++++++
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'
The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.'
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax & rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it & I have the best chance of doing that here.'
The boss agrees & allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass & the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office & sees the blonde crying hysterically...
'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.
'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'
Blondes Are The Best!!!
I support Cap and Trade - Cap our spending and Trade Obama
I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the Government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. - Thomas Jefferson
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Re: Blondes Are The Best!!!
[Re: Seadog]
#2131269
02/20/11 07:38 PM
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 41,320
BMD
Silver Spoon
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Silver Spoon
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 41,320 |
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Re: Blondes Are The Best!!!
[Re: BMD]
#2131830
02/21/11 12:58 AM
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 13,530
Hunt n Fish
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 13,530 |
("...her sister died too!) Now that's funny...... LMAO
Last edited by Hunt n Fish; 02/21/11 01:00 AM.
HnF
"Prayer is when you talk to the Lord, Meditation is when you listen to what he says"
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Re: Blondes Are The Best!!!
[Re: Hunt n Fish]
#2132075
02/21/11 02:43 AM
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 214
trophyhunter12
Woodsman
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Woodsman
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 214 |
How did u get my sisters life story?!? Hahaha
Crushing clays and taking names
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Re: Blondes Are The Best!!!
[Re: trophyhunter12]
#2132549
02/21/11 05:58 AM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 726
suzukiman
Tracker
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Tracker
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 726 |
Hunting- The only true way to relax
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Re: Blondes Are The Best!!!
[Re: suzukiman]
#2147174
02/27/11 07:03 AM
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 314
SWG
Bird Dog
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Bird Dog
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 314 |
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Re: Blondes Are The Best!!!
[Re: SWG]
#2147319
02/27/11 02:13 PM
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 60,296
stxranchman
Obie Juan Kenobi
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Obie Juan Kenobi
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 60,296 |
Are idiots multiplying faster than normal people?
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