Hummm another duckaholic
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From the Duck Commander
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Duckaholic Credo
Duckaholics Anonymous (DA) is a group of individuals who, like us, have gone “over the edge.” We are good people, but we readily admit that we are addicted to ducks and particularly to the art of hunting them. We eat, sleep, and breathe ducks. We are not looking for sympathy or recovery from our addiction, just others who view ducks as we do – with a passion. Our motto is simple: “If it flies, it dies, and if it just sits there, it dies too!”
Step One: I have admitted that I am powerless when it comes to hunting ducks. My life becomes unmanageable when season begins, so do yourself a favor and stay out of my way!
Step Two: I have come to believe that without an opportunity to “paralyze” a duck with a Commander call, life would just not be worth living.
Step Three: I have made a decision to turn my life, my time and my resources over to getting ready for the second split.
Step Four: I have made a searching and fearless inventory of myself, my truck, my shed, my closet, my carport, under my bed and everywhere else I might have some gear. I will always be ready for duck season!
Step Five: I have admitted to God, to myself and to another human being (probably a hunting buddy) the exact nature of my love for duck hunting and why I can’t stop.
Step Six: I am entirely ready to have God remove all my defects of character, as long as He leaves me my shotgun, shells, decoys, dog, boat, duck calls, etc.
Step Seven: I have humbly asked the Federal Government to remove many of their obtrusive restrictions on my beloved sport.
Step Eight: I have made a list of all the people I have irritated because of my addiction (wives, bosses, girlfriends, game wardens, etc.) and became willing to make amends to them, after duck season.
Step Nine: I would have made direct amends to the people on the above-mentioned list, but my retriever ate it.
Step Ten: I continue to take a personal inventory of all the latest duck hunting gadgets and products to make sure I’m on the cutting edge of my addiction.
Step Eleven: I have sought through practice and meditation to improve my duck hunting skills and to learn as much as possible from the Duck Commander about how to deal with this life-long addiction to ducks.
Step Twelve: Having been awakened to the fact that there are many other Duckaholics out there, I will carry the message that there is help available and encourage others to join Duckaholics Anonymous.