Posted By: jeh7mmmag
Redneck Engineer Exam - 08/20/14 03:41 AM
> Redneck Engineer
> Exam
>
>
>
> I, for one, am sick and
> tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and I
> challenge any so-called "smart" Yankee to take this exam:
>
>
>
> 1. Calculate the
> smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10
> pound possum.
>
>
>
> 2. Which of these
> cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front
> yard?
>
> (A) '65
> Ford Fairlane
>
> (B) '69
> Chevrolet Chevelle
>
> (C) '64
> Pontiac GTO
>
>
>
> 3. If your uncle
> builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of moonshine
> produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the
> product?
>
>
>
> 4. A woodcutter
> has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine
> trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre.
> The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is
> 14 inches. How many Budweiser’s will be drunk before all the trees are
> cut down?
>
>
>
> 5. A front porch
> is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock
> foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is
> 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
> collapses, how many dogs will be killed?
>
>
>
> 6. A man owns a
> Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope
> of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children
> place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property
> for their electric appliances to sit out front?
>
>
>
> 7. A 2-ton truck
> is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a
> secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic
> conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will
> strike a vehicle with a muffler?
>
>
>
> 8. With a gene
> pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town
> which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western
> singer?
>
>
>
> I betcha thought
> that this test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya?
> It's okay if y'all didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya
> there's a whole heap of things that big city book-learning don't
> prepare ya for in this life.
>
>
>
> As an added bonus
> for taking the "RED NECK CHALLENGE," here's some southerly advice that
> may come in handy down the road a piece....
>
>
>
> Next time you are
> too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order.
> When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them. Now that’s
> smart!!!
> Exam
>
>
>
> I, for one, am sick and
> tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and I
> challenge any so-called "smart" Yankee to take this exam:
>
>
>
> 1. Calculate the
> smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10
> pound possum.
>
>
>
> 2. Which of these
> cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front
> yard?
>
> (A) '65
> Ford Fairlane
>
> (B) '69
> Chevrolet Chevelle
>
> (C) '64
> Pontiac GTO
>
>
>
> 3. If your uncle
> builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of moonshine
> produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the
> product?
>
>
>
> 4. A woodcutter
> has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine
> trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre.
> The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is
> 14 inches. How many Budweiser’s will be drunk before all the trees are
> cut down?
>
>
>
> 5. A front porch
> is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock
> foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is
> 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
> collapses, how many dogs will be killed?
>
>
>
> 6. A man owns a
> Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope
> of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children
> place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property
> for their electric appliances to sit out front?
>
>
>
> 7. A 2-ton truck
> is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a
> secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic
> conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will
> strike a vehicle with a muffler?
>
>
>
> 8. With a gene
> pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town
> which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western
> singer?
>
>
>
> I betcha thought
> that this test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya?
> It's okay if y'all didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya
> there's a whole heap of things that big city book-learning don't
> prepare ya for in this life.
>
>
>
> As an added bonus
> for taking the "RED NECK CHALLENGE," here's some southerly advice that
> may come in handy down the road a piece....
>
>
>
> Next time you are
> too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order.
> When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them. Now that’s
> smart!!!
