Posted By: big-tex
Are you a redneck? - 08/25/11 06:09 PM
Here is quick diy test and see for your self.
Symptoms That You Might Be a Redneck:
You know several people who have hit a deer.
Stores don’t have bags; they have sacks.
You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
You know what “cow tipping” and “snipe hunting” are.
There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
You measure distance in minutes.
You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.
“Vacation” means going to the family reunion.
You use “fix” as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
You think ethanol makes your truck “run a lot better.”
You know all 4 seasons: Almost summer, Summer, Still summer, and Christmas.
You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
You think that deer season is a national holiday.
You’ve seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You find 90 degrees F “a little warm.”
You’re An Extreme Redneck When,
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
Jack Daniel's makes your list of "Most Admired People."
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
Your 14 year-old daughter smokes at the dinner table in front of her kids.
The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
Your junior prom offered day care.
You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Symptoms That You Might Be a Redneck:
You know several people who have hit a deer.
Stores don’t have bags; they have sacks.
You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
You know what “cow tipping” and “snipe hunting” are.
There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
You measure distance in minutes.
You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.
“Vacation” means going to the family reunion.
You use “fix” as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
You think ethanol makes your truck “run a lot better.”
You know all 4 seasons: Almost summer, Summer, Still summer, and Christmas.
You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
You think that deer season is a national holiday.
You’ve seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You find 90 degrees F “a little warm.”
You’re An Extreme Redneck When,
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
Jack Daniel's makes your list of "Most Admired People."
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
Your 14 year-old daughter smokes at the dinner table in front of her kids.
The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
Your junior prom offered day care.
You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
