Recoil??

My wife is looking for something with less recoil than her Kahr CW 9mm. If a 9mm is 100, and a .22 is 20. where would a, .25 or .380 fall in between 100 and 20?

Depends on the .308's stock design and weight, mainly. Buy her a 1911 in 9mm and she'll never complain about the recoil again. I am assuming she is shooting an LC9 or keltec.

Did you mean .380? If so be careful getting a small frame .380 like the lcp etc. they are small enough that they can often have more felt recoil than a 9mm. Look at the ruger lc380 or walther pk380. They are slightly larger frame and are a pleasure to shoot. Also the bersa thunder .380 is a good gun but slightly heavier and more complicated with its decocker and exposed hammer.

I sent you a PM.

Sig p238 380

Recoil, or perceived recoil has more to do with the type of action on the pistol than it does the frame size. Weight also makes a difference when comparing the actions.

Blowback - Most small .380's like the Ruger LCP, Taurus TCP, Bersa Thunder. The barrel is fixed in place. The case when fired pushes against the breach face. These typically are also harder to rack the slide on, especially for smaller shooters, because they have stiffer recoil springs to slow the slide down. This increases the felt recoil because the slide starts to move immediately after firing transferring all the energy straight back.

Locked Breach - Walther PK380, Glock 42. The barrel, like on full size 9mm, 40, and 45 Glock/XD pistols tilts down when the gun is fired. The camming action of the barrel takes the initial shock out of the recoil and allows the use of a lighter recoil spring making it easier for smaller shooters to rack the slide and reducing the felt recoil because the slide has to cam the barrel down before the slide can recoil backwards.

So why does my G35 smack into my hand so much harder than my Para 16-40 with the same load? It has everything to do with weight and grip design. In the case of the Glock, the Para weighs half a pound more. Look at revolvers. When shooting the same load out of a Super Blackhawk and a Super Redhawk, the Redhawk is going to hurt worse.

Sure, but take the same gun with same grip and same weight, one Blowback and one Locked Breach, and the Blowback design will have more felt/perceived recoil than the Locked Breach. I never said that there aren't designs out there that mitigate the differences between blowback and locked breach.

I have a Ruger LCP in 380, my female friends have a hard time racking the slide, but they love shooting it.

As others have said, sortof... smaller is not necessarily better. I don't have any trouble with an LCP or Keltec P3AT but at the same time, to me, they're snappy just like most of the 380's that I've shot. Which is to say, they're snappy. If she already doesn't like the recoil, then I'm on the opposite side of the fence from Colt W. Knight. People are different but I would say she's going to like an LCP type pistol even less. There's no one thing necessarily that dictates how it's going to "feel" or be perceived... it's the sum of the parts. Grip design, grip angle, grip size (is the pistol too big for her hands), the grips or stocks themselves, the mechanism of the pistol and how it operates, the weight of the pistol, where the weight IS in the pistol, etc. All of those things. Before I'd commit to a 380 of any kind, I'd make darn sure that you could test drive one first and honestly that's just sage advice for any pistol. Try before you buy if at all possible.

This is the way to go. Heavy enough frame so the felt recoil is low yet it fits small hands well.

Does she want something to carry or to shoot?

She can shoot my 500 S&W then everything else is like nothing.

This. Personal protection? Or target shooting?

My wife tried a Baby Desert Eagle in a 40 too heavy, then a Makarov 9MM- didn't like it. She then tried a Walther PPS in 9mm - too light and kicked..... I finally found her perfect fit in a Sig 938 (9MM) Extreme. Its solid and very reliable and is able to carry with her "Fashion of the day".
Finally got one right lol.

TX Grubby

Both! Personal protection, target shooting.

Buy her a heavier 9mm for shooting at the range.

Yep. Unless it's a concealed carry gun, don't buy her a tiny gun. A lot of guys think women need subcompacts to be comfortable. Take her to cabelas or academy and let her hold a bunch of guns. Find a frame that fits her well in a full size. Or find a larger compact. Ruger sr9c comes to mind. As I recall, it's an all metal frame, and is larger than the pocket pistols mentioned above, but smaller than a full size. It's comfortable in my wife's hand.

Sr9 is poly framed. Should be a good one though.

Yep. You are right. All I could picture in my head was the stainless slide with the sr9c logo.

There is more to the issue than just the caliber. First of all does the current gun fit her hand. Is it too small or too big. Is she holding it correctly or is her hand absorbing the recoil due to incorrect gripping. If all is correct and she feels it is too much recoil could it be the weight of the gun with this current model being fairly light. Before you buy another one go to a range that has rentals or find a buddy with several different models she can try out. I have instruct ladies that felt like 380 was too much recoil then give them a full size 40 that's not small lightweight gun and they would shoot it all day. Also you could consider and glock 19C if it fits her hand with the compensated barrel it significantly reduces recoil. There are several great 380's out there. Sig makes several, colt just came back with the Mustang.

I have a SR9 also. She isn't comfortable with it either.

Might try a nice quality revolver. Can shoot 38 at the range and 357 for defense.

My daughter went from a Glock 23 to a Springfield XDM Compact in 9mm. Her groups tightned up very well. This is her carry weapon also-I know its a bit bulky for some but that is what she shoots well

YMMV

I think the change from .40 to 9mm would be the big difference.

that plus the Springfield weighs in just a bit more than the Glock-all helps for her style of shooting