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The Church Dinner
#5180677
06/30/14 06:15 PM
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 834
macec3(TX)
OP
Tracker
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OP
Tracker
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 834 |
The Church Dinner
A group of friends from the Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Al and Jean to be the hosts, Jean wanted to outdo all the others. She decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But mushrooms are expensive. She then told her husband, "No mushrooms.They are too high."
He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed."
She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poison."
He said, "Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK." So Jean decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak.
Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Spot ate every bite. All morning long, Jean watched Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success, and Jean even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played '42' and dominoes. About then, the helper lady came in and whispered in Jean's ear. She said, "Mrs. Williams, Spot is dead."
Jean went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quickly as possible. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm." Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach. The scene was not pretty. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now," and he left. They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time the helper lady came in and whispered to Jean, "You know, that fellow that run over Spot never even stopped."
I only have two things to add:
RIP Spot
They all went home hungry.
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Re: The Church Dinner
[Re: macec3(TX)]
#5180753
06/30/14 07:14 PM
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 12,866
PMK
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 12,866 |
"everyone that lives dies but not everyone who dies lived..."
~PMK~
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Re: The Church Dinner
[Re: macec3(TX)]
#5180766
06/30/14 07:20 PM
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 18,771
HuntingTexas
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 18,771 |
" In God We Trust "
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Re: The Church Dinner
[Re: macec3(TX)]
#5180858
06/30/14 08:51 PM
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 6,063
Wilhunt
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 6,063 |
A great story..the wife is still laughing!
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Re: The Church Dinner
[Re: macec3(TX)]
#5181094
06/30/14 11:37 PM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 11,913
Simple Searcher
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 11,913 |
I cannot help but think, "how do I get everyone to come over to the house and get enemas?"
"Man is still a hunter, still a simple searcher after meat..." Robert C. Ruark
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Re: The Church Dinner
[Re: PMK]
#5182830
07/01/14 11:50 PM
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,115
texasag93
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,115 |
Last edited by texasag93; 07/01/14 11:50 PM.
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Re: The Church Dinner
[Re: macec3(TX)]
#5182950
07/02/14 01:11 AM
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 960
Gary Olson
Tracker
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Tracker
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 960 |
This is how people go from being friends to enemas.
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Re: The Church Dinner
[Re: macec3(TX)]
#5183081
07/02/14 02:15 AM
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,831
RedHoss
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,831 |
That is an old "Jerry Clower" story from way back but it is still funny.
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Re: The Church Dinner
[Re: macec3(TX)]
#5184400
07/02/14 10:20 PM
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,084
Hunt2Fish
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,084 |
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Re: The Church Dinner
[Re: Gary Olson]
#5296574
09/09/14 04:07 PM
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 41
twospeed29
Light Foot
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Light Foot
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 41 |
This is how people go from being friends to enemas.
I got two speeds. Goin fast,and haulin [censored]
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Re: The Church Dinner
[Re: macec3(TX)]
#5301872
09/12/14 01:46 AM
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,929
Lance Vick
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,929 |
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Re: The Church Dinner
[Re: macec3(TX)]
#5327163
09/26/14 04:31 AM
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 9,273
blackcoal
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 9,273 |
The Greatest Enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.--Stephen Hawking
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