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No sex for this guy
#5104857
05/08/14 06:11 PM
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 267
hunt-n-agg
OP
Bird Dog
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OP
Bird Dog
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 267 |
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight.
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: hunt-n-agg]
#5105643
05/09/14 01:19 AM
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,262
300j
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,262 |
That's greatness right there!!
All ready
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: hunt-n-agg]
#5105865
05/09/14 02:34 AM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 11,902
Simple Searcher
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 11,902 |
I should have tried that, I'm still paying for the tennis bracelet.
"Man is still a hunter, still a simple searcher after meat..." Robert C. Ruark
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: 300j]
#5106273
05/09/14 01:34 PM
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 6,314
KG68
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 6,314 |
That's greatness right there!!
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: hunt-n-agg]
#5106381
05/09/14 02:42 PM
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,802
elcasador
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,802 |
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: 300j]
#5106673
05/09/14 05:59 PM
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 13,415
jdk1985
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 13,415 |
That's greatness right there!!
Instagram @justinkingwoodworking
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: hunt-n-agg]
#5108632
05/11/14 03:22 PM
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,349
erniejs
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,349 |
We get old too fast and wise too slow
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: hunt-n-agg]
#5108643
05/11/14 03:33 PM
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 6,407
WileyCoyote
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 6,407 |
THIS ... Ought to be required reading for every couple that shows up for Pre marital counseling... Gotta be a Goose & Gander kinda deal or it will never work for more than 30 minutes...
It is TIME for Term Limits, cause Politicians are like childrens diapers and for the same reasons...Robin Williams "These are the times that try men's soul's"...Thomas Paine
"Those who fail to learn from History are doomed to repeat it" ....Santayana
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: hunt-n-agg]
#5113444
05/14/14 08:54 PM
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Joined: May 2014
Posts: 197
Niko
Woodsman
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Woodsman
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 197 |
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight. That is pure greatness!!!
GOD has all the answers to your questions. It's your choice to follow his path or create your own.
May GOD Bless you all
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: hunt-n-agg]
#5113545
05/14/14 10:27 PM
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Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 1,850
Merican Duck Hunter
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 1,850 |
Arise.Kill.Eat -Acts 10:13 I have read a bunch of stuff on the internet about Star Wars but that does not mean I can skin a deer with a light saber.
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: hunt-n-agg]
#5115710
05/16/14 05:22 PM
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 131
cerda12
Woodsman
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Woodsman
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 131 |
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: hunt-n-agg]
#5118520
05/19/14 03:57 PM
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,591
Pointer
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,591 |
I've read thru all the responses and I am still laughing. I think this guy is me.
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: hunt-n-agg]
#5126358
05/25/14 02:49 AM
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 7,806
Deerhunter61
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 7,806 |
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight. That was...indescribable! Lol
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: WileyCoyote]
#5127456
05/26/14 04:01 AM
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Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 595
crapicat
Tracker
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Tracker
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 595 |
[quote=WileyCoyote]THIS ... Ought to be required reading for every couple that shows up for Pre marital counseling... Gotta be a Goose & Gander kinda deal or it will never work for more than 30 minutes... Well Said...
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: hunt-n-agg]
#5128552
05/26/14 10:31 PM
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,084
Hunt2Fish
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,084 |
That was a good one
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: Hunt2Fish]
#5132566
05/28/14 11:02 PM
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 13,415
jdk1985
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 13,415 |
That was a good one X2
Instagram @justinkingwoodworking
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: hunt-n-agg]
#5177488
06/28/14 08:10 AM
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,003
Talisman
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,003 |
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Re: No sex for this guy
[Re: hunt-n-agg]
#5177503
06/28/14 10:20 AM
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 13,451
Seadog
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 13,451 |
I support Cap and Trade - Cap our spending and Trade Obama
I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the Government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. - Thomas Jefferson
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